PERSONAL EXPERIENCE

2007-06-30T14:30:00.000+05:30

‘Overwhelming’ ecstacy was it, when the mail ‘naively’ inquired if I could contribute a ‘nice piece’ for the coming SSIgnpost (Before you get lost, which in high probability you will, please mark those words which I diligently bothered to put between quotes). The first thing to come to mind was the exasperations of my blog readers and hence, dutifully offering my commiserations to those consecrated souls and now you, did I writeback asking if ‘my way’ of writing was permissible. While my mailbox got busy polling the server, my psyche bothered to quest as to what would intrigue the readers the most: Was it, for those project smitten people: “Software Engineers – Redefining wai(gh)t time” …mmm… Or, for those ‘super-comprehensive solution’ demanding customers: “Software’s Law – Requirement X Performance = Constant” or may be, for all those crackpots like me: “Dhoni’s locks – Obsess-o-mania!”

Settling the dust was the confirmation (Licensed to will) mail, which settled for editor’s perusal before releasing it to do the ‘will’ing act. Now that bricks seemed to have fallen in places, I decided to imbibe self-contention by reading through the ‘overwhelming’ mail conversation again. Meticulously reading every word, as if trying to assimilate the MD.50 of a formidable object, did I reach the point where - Oops! … I did it again L. “…personal experience/s nevertheless” it said, rather added to the sentence outlining the salient features of the ‘nice piece’. Sigh! Time again proved that I am bad at handling emotions, especially when its overwhelming, and memories floated back to final day of my 3rd class examination, when hours away summer vacation overwhelmed me so much that I read “Answer any 10 questions out of the 12 given” as “Answer any ‘5’ questions out of ... Ah! Whatever”. Remember how, having finished the exam wellllllll before time, I was the first person to walk out of the school (Yipee!) making absolutely no effort to hide my smugness at those gawking fellowmates. It was not till I was rushing back to school, with my obviously freaked out mother, did I resolutly start praying that those gawking faces, atleast the damsels, would be well away from the school boundaries and that the concerned teacher would be in the staff room than in an invigilation hall. “28 out of 60” (thanx to the “five 6 Marks” questions that I left untouched) proclaimed the annoyed miss, who, at the repeated requests of my concerned mother, bothered to asses my paper, though it only came after a malignant look at my temporarily introverted innocent face. Unsure whether to smile, that I ‘still’ managed to pass, or to cry, in sync with the look on my face, I preferred to opt for the later to avoid or atleast reduce the, imminent looking, intensity of my mother’s wrath.

Back to the present, as I tried recalling the size of my “Closed” region (area which supposedly reflects the portion of thoughts that one doesn’t put to words), as per the self-assesing psychology test I skeptically undertook during the SSI incubation period, I wondered if I would ever do justice to the assignment undertaken. My conscience intervened, asking not to back-up on the commitment, and then did I deliberately bother to dwell into the past.

Hmmm … so what should it be? Should it be about my first tangible experince with curiosity, when the 5 years old me hammered a camera to see how the large size photograph managed to fit into its medium sized body? Nah! Not the preposterous me! Or … About my education, which boomed till the unwariness of what-next existed and took a sharp plung the moment I chose career in computer science. Remember how, after my first semester results, I firmly determined to excel in the coming semester and how I got used to the more of less same feeling when it finally happened for the 7th time. Oops! What if my manager happens to read this? Or … How about my confusing encounters with the Venusians, who would label me a “flirt” were I to talk to them and would think of me as a “guy with attitude problem” were I to choose remaining apathic (aage kua peeche khai … Boy! I am the only person to have met those exceptional people, whom John Gray opted not to generalise). Interesting but highly contentious! No way! Or … On similar lines, my love life, which happened for the 1st time way back when I was in class 4 till it happened for the 2nd time and how I realised ‘that’ was love and the former was infatuation till it happened again for the 3rd time and I realised ‘that’ was love, former was ‘actually’ infatuation and the fore-former was mere ‘crush’ till it happened recently for the 237th time ** (yes! It’s the same symbol that you see in most advertisement pamphlets and hoardings…FYI…abbrivated to C.A) and ‘am still wondering if the evasion act is done. Going by the past, and the future it forecast, another 15 days might potentially render its status to ‘infatuation’, its former’s to ‘crush’ and fore-formers to mmm … gaahhh… Whatever! I brood over the warning of my ‘committed’ friends, who, instead of helping me decide, predict a divorce from that hypothetical, what they call ill fated, better half of mine. Phew! Intimidating! Or … About those wonderful bus travel companions, who ensue their slumber proceedings by first sitting next to me to joining shoulders with me to gradually resting their fragiled quarter body then half body then their head and sometime even managing their full body before a frustrated me would start contemplating if my flab-filled body is being mistaken a cotton-filled bed. Mmm … too awkward! Or… How a two-day workout would get my mind into believing that I can hog for atleast another 5 days and how my inveterate laziness, with the pretext of sketching a ‘flaw-less’ workout schedule for the coming month, would not only prevent another set of those two-days but also make way for those rest of the days, when the ‘flaw-less’ plan would further get my mind into believing that I can hog for atleast this month. Nah! What if I am the only dodo to be fighting a lost battle with flab? Before these mystifying memories could get me into doubting my own mental autheticity and make me wonder if I would ever stabilize in life, it was this management priciple that parried them off and ‘finally’ got me into writing this ‘nice piece’ – “Too much of analysis leads to paralysis”
Surly, by now, you must have realised ‘nice piece’ (I did that when I again read Richa’s article and started to wonder if I would ever realise the ‘beauty in simplicity’) and how ‘naïve’ it was to expect that from a fresher, or atleast me (Richa, I am convinced you’ve never read any of the mails I’ve ever sent to the team … lucky you!). If you are wondering how the editor gave a go to ‘my way’, it was coz of the one word misnomer I opted for – Bombastic ( no prizes for guess if it was published or not :D ), which covered up the potential loopholes of the writing style. ‘Think its high time I call it quits before one you consider reporting the existence of a gramatically flawed clown, who seemingly sounds more confused than even Joseph Heller, and should be sued were he to ever consider writing again.

HOW IT ALL STARTED ....

2005-07-01T11:47:00.000+05:30

As the imposing virgin online form appeared , asking me to fill in my personal details, I inveterately capitulated to my chronic laziness. As soon as it draped my psyche in its soothing magic blanket, the imbibed euphoria, like always, made me nostalgic. "OH YES ! TIME FOR YET ANOTHER GREAT ESCAPE !" cried the sinister me with smugness that left deep melancholy for its benevolent alter-ego. At the behest of this lazy conjuror , to disparage its conspicuousness , I put in "TIMELESSNESS" & "THOUGHT IN PROCESS" as the reason for the (indefinite) postponement ...... Conforming to it Moral duty & behaviour, my conscience asked me, yet again, the same question .... WHY ???

But ... But ....This euphoria was accumulating and accumulating and accumulating ..... there I started felling the boredom out of this copiousness... "YES THIS IS THE TIME ! " thought the suave me.... & again my conscience spoke "YOUR LAZINESS IS NOTHING BUT YOUR ESCAPE FROM FEAR. A "FEAR" THAT YOU HAVE ALREADY OVERCOME. REALIZE...REALIZE THAT YOU HAVE ! " ..... & before I could start amusing over that "FEAR" ( that embarrassing past of mine ) .... my fingers started typing . Never knew when I clicked the "edit" button & when the brain-finger synergy started. My eyes watched the resulting conglomeration in amazement. What begun with a single line was now moulding into a full fledged essay. As I proofread , the supposedly profile , for the first time ever, I experienced an overwhelming contentment. But the sinister me would not give up .... The Lazy conjuror was quick enough to raise its apprehesions over my appraisal. With this indirectly inoculated fear , of sporadic reactions resulting from the "critic"s perusal, still in my mind I somehow gathered courage to upload my dilettantish opus ...... WHAT HAPPENED THEREAFTER GOES WITHOUT ANY SAYING ...

.......If are one who can "read between the lines" then the date of my previous POST & the previous statement should be sufficient to guess that ...........after all ..... "Old Habits Die Hard ! "

Mike Testing 1 2 3 .....

2005-06-22T14:07:00.000+05:30

Welcome to the bloggers world ! ( one "BASIC INTRODUCTORY PROGRAM'S OUTPUT" which I have been constantly confronting (to be more precise - IT'S SIBLINGS) right from the day 1 of my nexus with Computer Science ) ... The output has always helped me assess the degree of mania associated with the Technology. So thought of using the same benchmark before trying to hit the bull's eye ! ...

"THOUGHT PROCESS" WITH CONSUMMATE NESCIENCE ....

PERSONAL EXPERIENCE

HOW IT ALL STARTED ....

Mike Testing 1 2 3 .....